NYWIFT Blog

By Katie Chambers

NYWIFT Member Jane Weinstock is a director and writer based in NYC. In 2013 she directed The Moment, a psychological thriller starring Jennifer Jason Leigh, Alia Shawkat and Marianne Jean-Baptiste. The film premiered at The Tribeca Festival. Her feature directorial debut, Easy (2003), starring Marguerite Moreau, Brían F. O’Byrne, and Naveen Andrews, was an official selection at the Sundance and Toronto Film Festivals.

Weinstock also co-directed Sigmund Freud’s Dora, a short film that showed at The Berlin International Film Festival and the Whitney Museum. She attended the Sundance Director’s Lab. In addition to directing, Weinstock has written on film, art, and feminism. She has a masters in Cinema Studies from NYU and a BA from Princeton.

In 2023, NYWIFT proudly presented her with the NYWIFT Award for Excellence in Narrative Filmmaking at the Woodstock Film Festival for her most recent film, Three Birthdays. It also won the best feature director award at the LA Femme International Film Festival. The film – set in 1970 – follows a middle-class couple and their 17-year-old daughter creating a web of secrets and lies as they try to choose between their safe, domestic life and the lures of sexual and personal freedom.

Weinstock spoke to us about the inspiration behind the film and how it resonates with modern audiences today.

NYWIFT Member Jane Weinstock

What inspired you to write Three Birthdays?

I made Three Birthdays as a way of exploring the 1960’s, the period I grew up in. I was very aware of the political movements of the period – the Women’s Movement, the Anti-war Movement, the Black Power Movement. And of course, the Sexual Revolution.

My mother was a liberal politician and feminist, and I grew up in a family that believed in progressive causes. My mother was also a painter, and I used her geometric abstraction paintings in the film. Three Birthdays is dedicated to my mother, and in some ways she was an inspiration for the Annie Parisse character.

The Sexual Revolution was everywhere. Thanks to the pill, women were “free” to have sex without the feared consequences of pregnancy. When I was in college, in the 70s, many people were having sex with their professors, most of whom were married. And some of my parents’ friends either had open relationships or were cheating on each other. It was a confusing time, and I wanted to show that alongside the excitement we all felt.

My original conception was that the story would revolve around a family on the birthdays of each of the family members. I always like films and books that play with point of view, and it occurred to me early on that I could show each character’s perspective by giving them the POV on their birthday. I worked very hard to try to make sure that the audience would identify with the character whose point of view was being shown.

It features an amazing roster of actors – what was that casting process like?

I made Three Birthdays during COVID, so all the auditions and/or meetings were by Zoom. My wonderful casting director, Betsy Fippinger, would send me reels of actors who were available, and I would request auditions with people I was interested in. The better-known actors would only do meetings, but I was able to get to know them a little and decide who would fit the image I had of the character. The only exception was Dolly Wells, whom we had to make an offer to without a meeting. I was thrilled when she said yes.

I was extremely happy with all of the actors. The three leads – Josh Radnor, Annie Parisse and Nuala Cleary – were all so talented, and they were believable as a family. Josh and Annie already knew each other, and Nuala had met Josh in 2013 at a fan event for his show, How I Met Your Mother. When Josh and Nuala finally came to rehearsal, Nuala presented Josh with a selfie that she had taken of the two of them at the event 10 years earlier. He was touched, and we put the photo on the refrigerator in the film.

The other important characters in the film were also so good – Gus Birney, Jasmine Batchelor, and Uly Schlesinger. Nuala and Gus hit it off from the beginning and made great best friends. Jasmine brought such depth and strength to her character, and Uly was a perfect young Marxist once we covered his tattoos and gave him John Lennon glasses.

The themes are very much rooted in the revolutionary culture of the 1970s but also resonate today, perhaps in different but just as meaningful ways. Can you talk about how you approached that as a writer and director? 

The most striking resonance is with the Kent State shootings. Of course I could not have foreseen that that moment of military violence would remind us of the way in which immigrants are being treated in America today. Parallels which I had envisioned during the writing were: the Black Power Movement and Black Lives Matter, the Women’s Movement and #metoo, socialism and the Progressive movement. Hopefully, younger people who follow these more recent movements can relate to the struggles of the 1960s.

Three Birthdays does seem to resonate with the viewers who remember the period. But younger women and men have told me that the film gives them insights into their parents, especially their mothers. The film explores a complicated mother-daughter relationship which is never fully resolved. Most women of any age can relate to that. Mothers also identify with Kate, who is trying to find the right balance between her career and her family.

I’ve also found that people in polyamorous relationships (or considering them) connect with the open relationship in Three Birthdays. The pitfalls then are not so dissimilar to the difficulties today.

Both women and men have spoken to me about trying to live by feminist principles. It’s probably easier now, but we’re still under the cloud of 5,000 years of patriarchy.

What was your favorite moment making the film? And biggest challenge?

My favorite moment was finishing the film without anyone getting COVID.

Also, I loved shooting intense, emotional scenes that had funny moments. Laughing with the actors is always a good way to bond with them.

The sex scenes were a little uncomfortable to shoot, but I liked figuring them out, with the help of storyboards and our wonderful intimacy coordinator, Alexandra Tydings. Again, laughing was often helpful.

The hardest moment, which came very early in our 18-day shoot, was the Earth Day campus demonstration. The sun was too bright; it was the biggest crowd scene; everyone was still figuring out how to work together.

What do you hope audiences take away from the film?

I hope the film will make people think about the dilemmas the characters in the film face and relate them to their own lives. I also hope that they will disagree about whom to root for and that those conversations will lead to other conversations about larger issues like mother-daughter relationships, polyamorous relationships, women’s efforts to pursue a career while at the same time being a mom.

Congratulations on the film’s success, which has included a NYWIFT Award for Directing at Woodstock. What has been the reception to the film so far?

We’ve had a lot of good responses to the film, and some very nice reviews. I was happy to be able to show Three Birthdays in two New York theatres a number of times. I always like seeing the film with an audience, especially when they laugh a lot. Some people also cry.

Where can audiences see the film now?

It is streaming on Amazon and Apple TV and many cable providers.

What’s next for you?

I’m writing a film about female friendship.

Keep up with Jane Weinstock’s work on her website www.janeweinstock.net, follow her on Instagram at @janeweinstock and the film at @threebirthdaysfilm. 

(Images courtesy of Jane Weinstock)